Duly Noted: I Choose on Monday I was always too concerned about what everybody would think.

I was always too concerned about what everybody would think. //

But I can't live for everybody, I gotta live my life for me.

Not too long ago I had a conversation with a loved one, we were discussing my family, and my interactions with them while I was in town. She said to me: “Well, you know, when you’re in town you probably going to want to tone it down a little bit. You know how some people can be.”

This was a reference to me being gay, and the idea that I should be “less gay” when visiting so as to help people to be as comfortable as possible. We had quite a lengthy discussion, immediately following.

Being worried about what other people will think about you, your life, your choices, your look, your feelings, etc., puts you into a box, a box you are certain to never get out of. Why should someone else’s comfortability come at the expense of your own? You have the right to be who you are, be where you are, and feel the way you feel. Now we all know the respectful and social limitations on our civil liberties (you may not want to hit the streets nude, because you just “wanted to feel liberated.” At least not on my watch, lol).

What I’m saying is this: What other people think of you is none of your business. The second agreement (in the book The Four Agreements, read my entry about it here) is “Don’t take anything personally.” What someone says to you, thinks or feels about you, or even does to you, is ALL about THEM. They’re perspective is informed from their “stuff.” Their happy and content, or bitter and upset, mindset is filtered by their background, experiences, challengers, baggage, and convictions. None of which has a drop to do with you.

I wrote a while ago about my dad getting me in check one day when I was upset about someone not liking me, for seemingly no reason. “People didn’t like Jesus, and He was perfect. What makes you so special?” Hmm.

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