10.29.2009
Duly Noted: Grace
I just got done watching Oprah Friday’s Live and it was a really great show. The end of the show featured BeBe & CeCe Winans performing their new single, “Grace,” from their new album entitled “Still.” I was uber-moved.
The song asks, “what would I do without Your grace?” & “where would I be without Your grace.”
I sit here on my couch, replaying the performance again and again. Lately I’ve been on this whole kick about the formal definitions of words, and went online to look up what “grace” is formally defined as. There were many sub-definitions, but a few stood out to me, and one in particular arrested my attention. The seventh said:
“an allowance of time after a debt or bill has become payable granted to the debtor before suit can be brought against him or her or a penalty applied.”
Did that mean anything for anyone but me?
If you inserted the definition into the questions in the song, replacing the word grace - it’s even more powerful. Where would we be without an allowance of time after a debt, sin, or ungrateful spirit had become payable? If that allowance wasn’t granted to us by our debtor before suit could be brought against us or a penalty applied...
I try not to use this space as a pulpit, or to try and press religion on those of you who read, so understand that is not my intention. It’s for those who believe in a greater power, the Universe, or God - whatever you choose to call that which you believe or believe in - that love, that mercy, that grace that can only come from the Divine, it’s amazing.
I hope you all get the chance to hear the song (again, “Grace” by BeBe and CeCe Winans from their new album “Still”), and I’m praying that it moves you, and causes you to reflect on the greatness of that love, favor, and of course, grace.
j.
grace |grās|
-favor or good will.
-a manifestation of favor, esp. by a superior
-mercy; clemency; pardon
-favor shown in granting a delay or temporary immunity.
-an allowance of time after a debt or bill has become payable granted to the debtor before suit can be brought against him or her or a penalty applied
10.26.2009
Have You Heard!? | Melanie Fiona - Johnny
::Cameron Ducker resides in Atlanta, Ga and is the founder of popular music and entertainment blog MusikChildOnline.com, and is the Music & Entertainment Editor at JarrettHill.com
::Follow Cameron on Twitter @Musik_CD
Duly Noted: I Choose on Monday
My past don't dictate who I am. I choose.
This will be short, hopefully. Sheryl Crow, when talking about some of the tough times in her life said that she allows her life’s challenges to refine her and not define her.
Wow.
Refine. Not define. That, to me, was quite strong.
While I know the definitions of these words, and I’m sure you do as well - when I read them again, it amplified the message within all over again, hopefully something new will be illuminated for you as well.
refine: |riˈfīn|
To improve (something) by making small changes...
define: |diˈfīn|
To make up or establish the character of...
Kanye. We all know what he did and how dumb it was. But the next night when he appeared on The Jay Leno Show, he seemed to be profoundly taken when Leno asked, ‘What would your mother say if she were here?’ He said that he’d not paused and dealt with his mother’s passing and the pain that surrounded that, and essentially his VMA stunt was the boiling over of all of those emotions.
This “teachable moment” has the opportunity to be his refining or defining moment.
I can think of a thousand times when I went through a tough time and felt like the problem staring me down, and whether or not I survived it, would be my legacy. But every time I look back at whatever it was I see that it was something that taught me for tomorrow, not something that finished me for good; it’s all a PART of my legacy, but a sentence, maybe two.
Whatever you’ve been through, or are dealing with now even now, don’t forget - it’s not the trial that matters, but the verdict. None of it defines you.
________________________________________________________
10.21.2009
Cameron Ducker's - Have You Heard!?: Lady Gaga

::Follow Cameron on Twitter @Musik_CD
shelby.on.style - Fashion Dictionary


Pashmina’s are great year-round to add a pop of color or fun print to any outfit weather it be running errands during the day or a night out. Almost every store sells them but the best place online is a site called PeachCouture.com. The purple one shown on the mannequin is from that site and is on sale right now for $9.95 and they have just about every color your little heart desires!
::Shelby Stasenka is a Fashion Designer in Los Angeles, California, works with Apliiq, and is the Fashion Editor at JarrettHill.com
::Follow Shelby on Twitter @LuckyDolll
10.19.2009
Duly Noted: I Choose on Monday
I was always too concerned about what everybody would think.
I was always too concerned about what everybody would think. //
But I can't live for everybody, I gotta live my life for me.
Not too long ago I had a conversation with a loved one, we were discussing my family, and my interactions with them while I was in town. She said to me: “Well, you know, when you’re in town you probably going to want to tone it down a little bit. You know how some people can be.”
This was a reference to me being gay, and the idea that I should be “less gay” when visiting so as to help people to be as comfortable as possible. We had quite a lengthy discussion, immediately following.
Being worried about what other people will think about you, your life, your choices, your look, your feelings, etc., puts you into a box, a box you are certain to never get out of. Why should someone else’s comfortability come at the expense of your own? You have the right to be who you are, be where you are, and feel the way you feel. Now we all know the respectful and social limitations on our civil liberties (you may not want to hit the streets nude, because you just “wanted to feel liberated.” At least not on my watch, lol).
What I’m saying is this: What other people think of you is none of your business. The second agreement (in the book The Four Agreements, read my entry about it here) is “Don’t take anything personally.” What someone says to you, thinks or feels about you, or even does to you, is ALL about THEM. They’re perspective is informed from their “stuff.” Their happy and content, or bitter and upset, mindset is filtered by their background, experiences, challengers, baggage, and convictions. None of which has a drop to do with you.
I wrote a while ago about my dad getting me in check one day when I was upset about someone not liking me, for seemingly no reason. “People didn’t like Jesus, and He was perfect. What makes you so special?” Hmm.
_________________________________
10.15.2009
Duly Noted: A [not so] beautiful day in the neighborhood?
Normally when having a lounge day, I open all the blinds, windows if the weather permits, letting in as much natural light as possible because I love to take it all in. But today with the rain pouring, I thought to myself “nah, it’s such an ugly day.” Then, like right then, I thought, “what about clouds and rain equates ugly?” Is there no beauty in the replenishing of the earth, the watering of the plants, the nourishing of the land.
Now I didn’t spiral into a song with birds fluttering about, but I did sort of think about the way we label things in our lives. The way that we have conditioned ourselves to think about the things that happen in our everyday lives.
Break-Up: Terrible.
Loss of a job: End of the world
Bad perm: Just cry until the burning stops.
But I’ve been trying to take a better look at how I look at things. Ultimately, it’s all about our perceptions and our choices. We all get the options to be happy, even in the face of adversity, troubled times, or just not so great days.
A few years ago I heard “inside every obstacle is an opportunity.” Even now, I’m thinking about how that applies with the situations I just listed:
Break-Up: Opportunity to learn more about myself, chance to find a better suited person for me, possibility of stepping back and re-evaluating your relationship(s).
Loss of a job: Maybe a career change, the opportunity to spend more time focused on things that matter more, or simply moving to a new level.
Bad perm: Hmmm... Maybe get excited about... the new skin that will replace your burns? Look, I’m tryin.
Overall, just think about the best of the best of things. There is always a silver lining. A friend of mine would often say to me, “Yeah, that sucks... but at least you don’t have crabs.”
Now go open the blinds and look at the rain, and if you don't see the bright side there, at least you don't have crabs. Unless... you know... you do. Gotta go.
Best,
j.
10.13.2009
Ziavan's Poetic License
Ain’t no way
You can stay
Make me lay
Me say
Me play
And pay
On this day
Or ever
Because of
What you gave to someone else
Ain’t no way
I’ll stop livin’
When livin’ is art
And art is motion
No notion
Of potential
Beyond the existential
Seams
Condemned residential
Dreams
Because of
What you gave to someone else
Ain’t no way
I’m leasing my soul
To assume your role
I extol
The depth of my virtues (laugh)
No toll
New goal
Because of
What you gave to someone else
don’t be an indian-giver …
Ziavan E. Smith
10.12.2009
Duly Noted: I Choose on Monday
(And I choose) to be the best that I can be.
I’ve written and, consequently, talked a lot about The Four Agreements. I think it’s a phenomenal book, and would recommend it to anyone that is planning on living beyond this afternoon. The fourth of the four agreement is to “Always do your best.” The book offers that one of the great benefits of doing your very best is never feeling guilty. If you put your all into all that you do, even if and when it’s not enough to get the desired outcome, you never walk away with regrets about not trying harder, giving more, or not doing your best.
According to the book, another big part of being your best, and doing the same, is knowing just what that is. Have you ever felt like you’d tried too hard, and ended up hurting yourself more than helping? Ok, let me use “I” statements, because I know I certainly have. Knowing when you’ve reached your best will significantly help you in innumerable ways.
Your best is not always, and probably not often, when you’re exhausted, run completely down, and have nothing left to give. By definition, 'best' is: “that which is the most excellent, outstanding, or desirable.” Notice there is no mention of exhausting, overextending, or depleting one’s self.
Lastly, know what your best is. Recognize it may not be on Monday where it is on Tuesday. And Tuesday’s best may not look the same as Friday’s. They can all be different, some better, some a little less. Try to be aware.
Do your best, be your best, and then relax. You’ve done enough.
Now, let me go do mine and get back to my job...
_________________________________
10.11.2009
On Joe Wilson and Democracy
“You Lie!”
More than a month ago, Rep. Joe Wilson (SC-2nd) made headlines and sealed his spot in the history books when he shouted those immortal two words at President Obama during his joint congressional address on health care reform. The dust has finally settled, the incredulity of Joe Wilson having finished lining both his and his Democratic challenger’s respective campaign coffers. President Obama – in addition to Presidents Carter and Clinton – have all had their respective say, and the US House of Representatives has passed its punitive resolution, capturing forever Wilson’s career-defining moment of infamy and ensuring that even if the public or history forgets what he did, the official Record of the House will not.
Yes, much has simmered down since Joe Wilson’s outburst precipitated by the heat of this past summer’s series of town hall meetings about health care reform. All is now quiet on the front, and – with the notable exception of the Senate Finance Committee – the national political conversation as turned, at least partially, toward American foreign policy and our perennial relationships (read: challenges) with Iran & Afghanistan.
That is, everyone except me.
I reserved my reactions to the debacle initially because I seriously didn’t know what to think or how I felt. The pundits of our popular media didn’t make my task any easier, clouding my mind with explosive questions of race that amplified Wilson’s infraction and threatened to overshadow the political conversation proposed to fix our nation’s broken health care system. And now that the talking heads have finally shut up and I can hear my own thoughts again, all I’m left to listen to are questions:
Why didn’t Wilson make a public apology? Why did he “apologize” to Chief-of-Staff Rahm Emanuel instead of the President – the man who actually incurred the expense of Wilson’s disrespect?
Would Wilson’s defense of “being overcome” and “letting his emotions get the best of him” pass muster? What if he had been a woman – would the same defense have worked in that scenario?
Why didn’t the House of Representatives (read: Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and the Democratic majority a.k.a “Her Partner Dem”) move to censure Wilson for his flagrant breach of House rules and public decorum?
Is the public option really off the table? Like, “for real” for real?
How close are we really to passing a substantive piece of legislation that lowers health care premiums and drives down costs, makes care more accessible to low-income families and the people that need it the most, and relieves some of the burden off of our fledgling health care system and professionals?
But more than these, the central question that continues to ricochet off of these tangent inquiries and consume my thoughts is this:
Was Joe Wilson’s outburst justified?
I know this probably sounds like a misnomer, but I’ve honestly wrestled with this question since I, too, was burned by Nancy Pelosi’s death stare. See, here’s the thing: while I would agree with most people that Wilson’s comments were certainly unseemly, contrary to the order of the proceedings and deserving of rapt punishment, I kind of like that Wilson and the rest of the GOP are able to openly critique the President. In this grand experiment that we call democracy, freedom of speech is not just a provision for the security of one’s own civil liberty – that same freedom fortifies our democratic process and underlines one of the most basic principles of liberalism: that in a free market place of ideas in which every opinion is expressed, no one opinion may reign unjustly over another because competing ideas battle for public consensus, unearthing from its ashes a new clairvoyance and forging a truth that will allow a government of the people, by the people, for the people to better agree on how to govern themselves.
In a democratic republic such as ours, in which every person is not given a voice in the creation of new law and public policy and most of us rely on others to articulate our thoughts and feelings to the larger body politic, it’s even more important that that marketplace remain free and open, scrutinized less by the processes and procedures we’ve established to facilitate its operation and committed more to protecting different opinions and preserving the integrity of producing the best government we desire to establish. I would argue that in a democracy, it is the dissenting opinion that is often the most important, protecting the voice that is most often drowned out by the clamorous monotony and projected moral superiority of popular opinion. At one time, women's suffrage, civil rights and LGBT equality represented dissenting opinions (and in some instances, still do) contrary to the pleasure of the majority of the nation. But the core precept of this democracy perseveres: just because more of us agree with the prevailing ideology does not circumvent the continued importance of the dissenting opinion, no matter how much we disagree with it. I’m appreciative and proud that the pervading significance of dissenting opinion has helped move our nation from a past bigotry of oppression toward a more progressive liberalism. And, to be honest, I wish there had been more Wilson-esque outbursts from my elected representatives during President Bush’s (43) tenure.
Was the manner in which Wilson registered his disdain with that particular pillar of President Obama’s health care plan uncivilized? Sure. Was his volatility motivated, even in part, by racism? Perhaps – probably, even. But was Joe Wilson justified in making so egregious of an eruption, in the name of open debate and better government?
I’m still not sure what the correct answer is.
But, in the words of Texas blogger Kathleen McKinley, “criticism can be an act of great patriotism.”
::MJ Brewer is a Legislative Aide and Chief of Staff for House Representative Alisha Thomas Morgan, has his own blog "Michael J. Brewer Takes On" at MichaelJBrewer.Blogspot.com and is a Political Analyst for JarrettHill.com.
::Follow MJ on Twitter @MichaelJBrewer
Aram: Around the World | What next after the lost war against drugs?

On April 30th, Mexico’s Chamber of Deputies completed a long legislative process and approved the proposal of President Calderon against small time trafficking. Across the region, similar proposals have been following, Argentina and Brazil being the main examples. Nevertheless, Plan Colombia continues to be in place and Mexico also accepted to integrate it’s own version with US aid, adding Merida Initiative to its home security strategy. While the war against drugs proves to be a failure, these parallel actions will certainly dent the social picture of Central America.
It is well known by Mexico’s citizens that schizophrenic decisions are an every day deal in the country. Naturally, drug policy is no the exception to the rule. The new Law Against Small Time Trafficking distinguishes between consumers, addicts and criminals, which is already a significant step for the civil society that works on human rights promotion. It also orders nation wide institutions to guide their actions through harm reduction policies and recognizes cultural and ritual use of certain substances.
On the other hand, the Merida Initiative looks at a bilateral cooperation scheme through which the US provides human training and economic resources to continue to fight organized crime. It confronts the fact that up until August of this year, Mexico figured 36,000 offenders were arrested for organized crime, of which 236 ended up in US prisons. It has so far officially secured 50,123 weapons, 21,300 vehicles, and 404 aircrafts for drug trafficking. A total of one billion dollars worth of cocaine and 379 million of marijuana have been seized as well.
How does this affect Central America? After Plan Colombia began and with the increased commerce between Mexico and the United States result of NAFTA, drug traffic shifted to the four states that border the US: Baja California, Chihuahua, Durango and Sinaloa. Violence there grew significantly as cartels began to fight for controlling traffic routes. It is currently further fueled by arms that cross the border from North to South.
Plan Colombia, as said before, remains. Merida initiative has so far delivered $150 million of the pledged $1.6 billion. Few of that aid has gone to Central America, a region that continues to see little to no governance. An acute economic crisis further deepens the desperation of poor communities for food, employment and education. Meanwhile, cartels North and South of Central America see a captive market for drugs. But current operation bases have called too much international attention and have become utterly violent.
Nor violence or too much attention is good for business, they elevate the risks of the jobs and thus, the end price goes up as well. An easy solution for organized crime is to once again shift commercial routes and relocate to areas that are less restrictive to the business, that are not yet under international scrutiny and that have free trade agreements already working with the most important demand market in the world.
Central America will observe an inconspicuous yet permanent shift of organized crime operation headquarters and ergo, traffic routes will slowly migrate and change. Unless there is an anticipated strategy in the sub-region, this will certainly have impacts in the Central American communities by affecting the economies, employment opportunities and corruption levels of local polices and politicians.
::Aram Barra is the Events Coordinator at the Friedrich Ebert Foundation in Mexico fesmex.com, the Latin America and Caribbean representative for Youth R.I.S.Eyouthrise.org, the Projects Director at Espolea, Espolea.org,
and the International Correspondent for JarrettHill.com.
::Follow Aram on Twitter @AramBarra
10.06.2009
Duly Noted: Good thing I’m not into eyeshadow...
You know how you can have an “aha” moment, as the Sis. Winfrey calls them, at the most random of times. The other morning I was coming up the stairs, walking into the kitchen, and opening the pantry to grab a quick breakfast before heading off to the busy day ahead (Come with me now, I’m gonna bless you). I pulled out two packets of instant oatmeal, popped some water in the microwave, waited and eventually ate. But I was still hungry. I thought to myself, “You just ate, fat kid!” Then, it hit me.
I’ve been eating two packets of instant oatmeal for years. I mean... years! Since the sixth grade. THE SIXTH GRADE (I’m now 24). In the sixth grade, I was wearing a size eleven shoe (I wear a 14/15 now), I was probably 5’11” (I’m 6’3” now), and God only knows what I weighed back then (and the two of us will maintain the exclusive rights to that information now as well). All of this kind of hit me like a ton of bricks. I hadn’t even taken into account how much of a different person I was now, how different my needs were today, and how I was actually selling myself short (or at least under-eating my oatmeal), all because I never updated the standard for myself.
Wow.
Right away I felt like one of those guests on an Oprah Show who was still wearing turquoise eyeshadow, hadn’t replaced the plaid orange couch, or had tap-teased their hair to the gods, all because it was what worked for them... 80 years ago when that was the thing.
Right away, I got up and had some more oatmeal. And was almost late to work. Almost.
I say all this to say: I was really grateful the Lord had paused and checked me with something seemingly harmless, rather than with something more potentially substantive. It made me ask myself, what were the other things in my life that may have been outdated, in need of repair, or simply needed to be transitioned out of my life?
I’m currently making a mental note of some boxers I’ve owned far too long, a few t-shirts that could be older than my youngest sibling, and of course, some turquoise eyeshad... nevermind.
What about you? What’s taking up space and not even actually being used anymore? What’s occupying your time, really only because it always has, but not because you need or want it? What beliefs, thoughts, or feelings are we still holding on to that don’t even really make sense today?
Take note, duly. And refresh your every day. As for me, I look better in natural tones anyway...
10.05.2009
Duly Noted: I Choose on Monday
(I choose) to be authentic in everything I do.
Inspired by lyrics from the India.Arie song, "I Choose," every Monday we'll offer you a way to give the ordinary week that follows a little extra. The song is posted below, we'd suggest playing it while reading... enjoy.
___________________________
"(I choose) to be authentic in everything I do."
I used to attend this discussion group every week and one day we were talking about “showing up.” The moderator asked us about the last time we didn’t show up completely. I didn’t get it. Either you’re there or you’re not, right? Not what he meant.
He asked us “when was the last time you withheld a, or many, parts of yourself in a setting because you didn’t want to be seen as something else or you didn’t want to give off a certain impression.”
Whitney “Don’t call it a Comeback” Houston just made her comeback (or are we not supposed to be using that word?) and in her big interview with Oprah, she talked about when married to Bobby the Infamous Brown, she would often try to downplay her own fame. She would find herself, this larger than life star, trying to be smaller. She wouldn’t fully show up.
How often do we subconsciously just not show up? When you come into a meeting, you maybe pull yourself back, don’t allow your wonderful ideas to come out. When you’re on a date, you try to be as much of what you think the other person wants, regardless of what you tuck away. How often have you walked into a room of mostly strangers and shut down all the extraordinary parts of yourself, to blend in and just be a quiet bump on a log? Oh, maybe these are all just me. That’s fine. I’ll be that guy.
I’ve had to challenge myself to “show up” more frequently than I have in the past. Not that I hide in the shadows, I think you can figure that I’m not often accused of being shy. With me though, I tend to like to be a chameleon in as many place as I can be. I can fit in to man places without being noticed (aside from being 6’3”). I’ve noticed about myself (uh oh, getting vulnerable) that I do that in an effort to protect myself. I don’t want to stand out too much, because he who pokes his head out can have it cut off. But I choose to show up. As black. As a man. As Christian. As gay. As a student. As an entrepreneur. As a son. As a partner. As a friend.
Show up today, then periodically pause and ask yourself: “Have I shown up?”
Now - I’ve got to show up for work, or I won’t have work to show up for. Peace!
j.
Sarah Boren: Friend of Food - Can You Find a Real Meal in a Dorm Room?
First of all, some basic necessities. Essential to every dorm room (and every kitchen for that matter) is the MICROWAVE. Next you’ll need a rice cooker (hear me out! It’s good for way more than just rice). You can find one at your local Walgreens for about $10. For those who like a little meat along with their meals I highly recommend investing in a small George Foreman Grill. A personal sized one can be found at Walmart for about $15. Finally, I suggest grabbing some Ziploc® Zip n’Steam™ bags. You may also need some utensils to use with these objects, such as a strainer, something to stir with, a thermometer for checking meat temperatures, and hot pads to avoid nasty burns.
So now that you know what fundamental, now it's time to cook. The microwave is great for many things; with a little plastic wrap you can make a baked potato, which can serve as a nice meal with a salad, or can pleasantly accompany meat. In one of the steamer bags you can cook veggies like carrots or asparagus (or any vegetable for that matter). You can actually even cook meat in these bags. I find they work best for light meats like seafood and chicken. Just keep in mind that most things take a lot less time than the bag suggests. Also, it helps to put a little seasoning like salt and pepper in with whatever you’re cooking.
Next we move to the rice cooker! Of course this is a wonderful device for cooking rice, which happens to be pretty good for you as well as the wallet. There are, however, tons of other things you can do with it. For instance, you can fill it to the highest line on the inside (the $10 option from Walgreens holds four cups) and turn it on. The water will boil, allowing you to cook pasta, or even potatoes that you could proceed to mash. Most grocery stores sell premade tortellini and ravioli that only have to be boiled. Then all you need is a little sauce! Pasta alone provides a great variety of healthy options. You can even make macaroni and cheese in the rice cooker!Finally, the George Foreman Grill, with this handy device you can cook just about any kind of meat. I would suggest using smaller cuts of meat that will cook faster. As this type of grill cooks from the top as well as the bottom, it’s always a good idea to use thinner cuts of meat that will cook all the way through without making the outside tough. Chicken tenders cook really quickly and always come out very... tender.
As far as beef goes, if you’re going to cook a steak, go for something like a New York. They are not very expensive and lend themselves well to this kind of high-heat cooking. As far as seasoning meats, I recommend something simple. Season-All is fairly inexpensive and tastes good with all sorts of meats.So take this knowledge and be the first person in your building to cook a real, delicious meal!
::Please note that some dorm rooms do not allow hot plates inside the dorm rooms themselves. Please check with your management to make sure what you are and are not allowed to keep and/or use in your dorm room.
::Follow Sarah on Twitter @iluvtremonti28
10.02.2009
shelby.on.style: What's old is new again... and again.
Well, the latest fad that is sweeping the fashion world is Tie-dye. I know the first thing that comes to your mind is hippy, stoner, peace and love right? Well after looking up the origins the technique dates back to ancient China -- the T’ang Dynasty to be exact.
Some tribes went as far as dyeing each thread by hand before weaving the fabric. They often extracted dyes from blackberries, safflower, cabbage, onion, marigold, sage and indigo. Though it was practiced for many years in numerous countries it did not make it’s way to the US until the great depression. Girls would take old sacks, tie-dye them and make garments, curtains, tablecloths and pillows. Tie-dye re-emerged during the 60’s as a statement of individuality and since then it has come and gone numerous times.

Recently stars like Fergie, Victoria Beckham and Rihanna have been rocking skinny, tie-dyed jeans, so I think its safe to say it’s here to stay -- for a while. In recent magazines I have even seen denim jackets, enamel jewelry and even shoes with the look of tie-dye. It’s no surprise that tie-dye is back in these hard times, in my opinion it’s the easiest do-it-yourself way to add a little something extra to that old pair of jeans your not ready to let go of quit yet.
Happy Dyeing!
shelby.
::Follow Shelby on Twitter @LuckyDolll

